as i sit and write

I've been so consumed in what I see as "fit" disregarding the Perfect Plan. Who am I to question the very works of His Hands? As I've re-visited my old blogsites I've realized they surround the same issues. And a majority of them question happiness&love. What excuses have been said and made to question what isn't "broken". There's that saying "why fix something that isn't broken..."
Given the fact that I've had idle time or rather procrastinate on the upcoming deadlines, I've used it to think,reflect&pray. To discern -to perceive by the sight or some other sense or by the intellect; see, recognize, or apprehend." (dictionary.com) It's quite simple. Why question what's right, with a question of wrong? I'm not saying to be ignorant to not want to know, but when do you know when inquiring isn't necessary? It's been a bit difficult to 'believe'. Believe whole-heartedly in all that He has planned for me. He been in search of me to look for HIM.

I'm saying my "yes"

It's everything that I've been taught and continue to learn every day. How to be His. It's interesting to me that when we truly take time to reflect, we learn a new concept of life and what 'our' lives mean to us. Personally, if we just think back at the times we search for Him, it's in time of stress,pain,and misunderstandings. What difference is it to search for Him when we're happy,alive,and understood by others. As I sit and write, I acknowledge the endlesss times He's showed me LOVE.

"LOVE: We think about it, Sing about it, Dream about it && Loose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear loosing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define && IMPOSSIBLE to live without." - anonymous

God, You are definitely difficult to define by context, but I know that YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE to LIVE WITHOUT. My "fear" of losing YOU, is backwards. I "choose" to leave YOU and YOU continue to be by my side. It's disappointing to me that I've come to terms with this concept now. Well not that I haven't already been aware of this concept,but the more its come to full circle. I've always questioned and doubted His Plans, but I am also human. I know how to trust. But I entrust, all unto HIM. I won't stop questioning Him, but hopefully I won't question upon doubt. It's not what I see "fit". It's what He sees in what perfection IS. The Plan He has for me, is a Plan in progress. I pray that as I say 'my' yes, I embrace what is in store.
I thank God because I can 'restart' living in HIM and do so freely by choice.