you're unbelievable

Seriously,what's with the double meaning of your gestures. You're unbelievable! No wonder there are people asking me or calmly putting their input on what they see. I amaze myself with what I seem to be doing and the reasons that confuse the minds of of others. So this is what it's come to? This is what you're trying to do to me? You're driving me insane! I can't help it if I'm trying my best to understand you. If I'm trying to get through to you since its frustrating to others. How can one your friends be so annoyed with you at the moment? How can you stand being "OK" with your speaking terms. This isn't anything "new" apparently when it comes to you. But maybe,maybe I've been blinded by all your over-bearing behavior. Your somewhat protective aura. I can't help but wonder and question...what is it exactly that makes you tick? What exactly do I mean to you? Am I so wrong to wonder? Why is it so important for me to be in a certain place for the next four years of "my" life? What makes it any different from where I'm already headed? Is it the fact that you're always going to be there and visit as you already do now? These are only "hypothetical" questions. But seriously, when will I wake up from this reality that you've been sucha great part in that I won't feeel the need to wonder anymore and just KNOW. Why must we be so complex in such a way that it acutally works for the both of us yet it is soo complicated to explain? Are we that complex or is there a "we" at all? If you can answer me this one question I rest mycase...
The day you told me what you "wished" for, was that a joke? or was there truth in it? Because if there is truth in it, do you really think that much of me let alone not respect me?
You're unbelievable,and yet I'm the fool who fell for you and you're the one who caught me when I fell and were the last to push me off the ledge.


blahblahblah ramblings of nothingness.since theyre already solved done and over with, kayy thanks =D

poem by yours truly<3

it wasn't because you were always there
it wasn't because you said "i care"
it's because you said it to my face
it's because of that moment, i don't want it to be erased

i've laughed, i've cried, i've smiled in front of you
and each and everytime, you've asked what's wrong or new
i can't seem to put my finger on it but there's something i'd like to know
yet, to make it clear it has nothing to do with the question of whether this love grows

i say one thing and mean another
and through it all you discover the meaning and put two and two together.
"i won't say i'm in love" is just from a disney song
and it has a great message. what it means to fall in love with a hero,a prince, a man who brings a love of bliss.

I love you and that's not the end of that. And all I know that this is a true fact.
Love is such a powerful word, a image, a illusion, a story, a song
It's everything we've said and heard.

I love you and I wouldn't change that for the world.
I want you to know it's because of you there's brightness and hope to the life I live
so soft and sweet like a lullaby sung by a lovely bird.

circle of life

and life is a circle and repeats itself. if only i wasn't insane performing the same procedure hoping for a new outcome.


"teach me to live Your Love
help me to give Your Love
show me Your Way, LORD I'll OBEY
Your WORD&LIVE YOUR LOVE<3"

can't let this go

I know there are several other important tasks that should be completed at the moment but I can't help but digress. I know I should be completing my civil and criminal law work or working on my term paper on Pope John Paul II, but I'm definitely digressing.
I don't know where to begin. I can't get one of the last conversations that I had with who I consider my "bestfriend",since it has put so much more into perspective and it's getting a little bit out of hand. I won't allow myself to let that go. Seriously, of all things to ask of me as a friend...so you say, why that? It confuses and in an unhealthy way stresses me out. I want to say I'm down, but just not now...I've asked and asked myself, why can't it be this way or why couldn't that be the last "serious" conversation we had years from now. But no, it was one of the recent "serious" conversations now. What's with that?
Lately, I've been trying to do everything and anything but focus on what truly matters, the matters of God's importance in life, family, friends, school, and well the one that's been hitting me hard. matters of the heart super corny. But sometimes, the heart wants or desires what the rest of ourselves can't bear. I can't bear this awkward period of time. I know I'll get through this. Other than realizing as of today how crappy of an "exfriend" or exgirlfriend I am.
I can't help but realize the patterns in my past boy friendships. It's when I realize that we might be just "more than friends" that I get scared. I can't risk getting hurt and by backing away I hurt even more. When it's me that figuratively burns the guy before he burns me, I beat them to the punch. But the ripple effect takes its toll on me. Well, not that it doesn't affect them just as much... I seem to dwell on it more than I should. I definitely have difficulty keeping a friendship let alone a casual conversation with a boy that has walked into my life and who I have walked away from. I can't say I'd like to be the girl who's waiting for the guy to come around and let me know what's up ending in the way I've left my past friendships with the boys who have come and gone...some who have also come back and well try sticking around -_-
I can't let this go. Especially since that last conversation with one of the friends that is a boy who I care about in a way I've felt before...he's the same person I've felt this way sometime ago. He's always just "there" When I had my boyfriend and well the guys I dated, he was and is the common denominator. My protective bestfriend. It seems to be so difficult for me to decipher the difference of you being protective and just being a really great bestfriend. In a way there isn't supposed to be a difference. Yet, I can't stop and think that you too, are just as afraid as I am. But I still become very hesitant that I'm only sabotaging what's been there and that's here right now. Why sabatoge one of the greatest friendships I've had? I'd rather stay quiet than risk everything. But in doing so I'm risking so much more. I keep confusing myself
I don't want to just be "friends" yet, that's all I can really say for I don't know your side of the story and I'm too foolish to ask.

explains what i "pheel"

Do you still talk to the one that broke your heart?
Too many questions (like this) are surrounding my thoughts
Forget about her and look at me,
I'm so much better but tell me what do you see?

Chorus:
What do you think about me?
Am I too short? Too fat? Even skinny for your liking?
Do I run like a dork or speak real slow?
But one thing I have to know
Would you ever let me go...?

Who do you think of the most everyday?
The tone in your voice says there's no one that way
Follow me, I'll make you love again
but can I be more than... your best friend?

Chorus

- Interlude -

Erase her from your mind
So many other fish in the sea
She's not worth your time
I hope that other fish is me
Do I make the first move?
Or am I too nerdy? Too flirty?
How do I get closer to you?
But tell me, what do you see...

What do you think about me?
Am I too young? Too old? Too childish for your liking?
Do I boss you around or do I play too much?
But one thing's for sure...

What do you think about me?
Am I too nice? Too sweet? Too pretty for your personality?
Do I shine like gold or haven't you noticed
I'm right here in front of you
and I'll never let you go...



© 2008 SB Lyrics