believes

aww man, so me being bored i cut my bangs..not too bad,but not i definitely miss the length of them. It's semi-fine knowing that they'll grow back anyway. I'd just like to get my hair trimmed anyway. But the last time i chopped off a good length soo...not ready for that. Aside from that, I believe. I believe that it really isn't just coincidences in life that happen, it really is God's incidents. His Plan although not always clear cut, its 'perfect'. So I may have blanked out on my midterms in general,but not horribly either. But as someone has told me, i shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch...soo i'll just have to wait and see. I've been doing that a lot lately...waiting&seeing...
As perusual, there's always something that we wait for in life or really in the present moments. And well so far as I know, the whole waiting process is seriously anxiety filled but all worth the wait when the wait seems to be 'over'. All that means to me nowadays is that there isn't an end. Always a new beginning. In the processing of my train of thoughts, 'the end' concerning anything is only another begininng. It may not always be what we expect. But when we think back, although we'd like to have that chance to change one or two things,there's nothing we want to despite our current circumstance.
I believe, it really IS HIS PLAN&&NOT MINE. the suprises and blessings no matter how twisted,make life all the more worth taking time for appreciation instead of depreciation. SO that may not be everyday but in all appreaciate more than anything else.
On another note, so as of late..where I've been at the times I've been and why still doesn't make sense to me. Not that its anything close to being bad or anything of that sort,its actually very happy-go-lucky for me. which is why it doesn't make sense. Here I am blogging about appreciation,but it is still also very foreign to me personally. I've been told I'm afraid of the good things that come in life. Yes, I'm being hypocritical here, but it is very critical...i'm afraid of happiness... what's with that? it's all processing within my being slowly but surely,to a feeling of security&peace...afraid as of now...but slowly and surely it is fading away. I find myself a little bit of at ease.Not concerning college but at the same time yes. Because as I've stated above, it's HIS PLAN, NOT MINE.
I do pray though that the several friendships I have with people grow stronger and well 'restart' or just start xD that is what I pray is in HIS PLAN for me.

morethanatitle.mp3

I so proud!

So today, as I lucked out by not taking any midterms or finals, I'm going to my kuya marc's graduation! Marc, is my big brother. Always has been and always will be. Well Marc my first cousins and my godbrother Nevin. They're my backbone in the family. Slowly but surely, so are my acutal ates. It's weird for me. Nowadays, my Ate Rhoda and Ate Roslyn ask me ever so often about my day and what I'm doing. I know a lot of it has to do with my personality of being very private. Yet, I am also one who wants to share her life story. Which is why I end up writing here or in notebooks and epecially through songs or poetry.
Kuya Marc, the guy who I can always take to and chill with when given he chances to. We're like two peas in a pod especially when our families go out. If I'm not there he isn't if he's not there I'm not...most of the times anyway. It sucks this year though, we were both supposed to go to pinas in the summer,but our older cousin Mark is getting married in April. He's going and I'm not being it as my senior year and all. Wohoo class of oh nine! =)
my Kuya Marc is your basic gangster thug looking kind of guy. The baggy jeans oversized hoodies fitteds and yeaah. So for him to be graduating especially early as january, is quite amusing to the old fashioned filipino family of mine. Where if you dress or act a certain way you're a loss of hope. But that's besides the point because who isn't judgmental. Still bothers my godbrother and I though just because we know Marc more than they ever will. I do love both my kuya&godbrother very very very much and it's reciporcal. Lol. If anything were to happen to me there'll be trouble and vice versa. Kuya Marc, I'm so proud of you and our family can just put their fist in their mouths because you are graduating and even with the award of perfect attendance...which is why you didn't come to LSS..but it's just not your time yet. I'm blessed to have a kuya like you&I know that your brother is watching over you and me smiling at your success,guiding you in your every way<3
R.I.P. CHRISTOPHER RYAN SAN DIEGO
I know if you were here on Earth, your Kuya would be the same kind of man he is today with the repsonsibility of being an awesome brother and friend. I may not have met you,sine you were born a month before mee and although you lived a little longer after I was born, I was in an incubator all connected to tubing with the marks to prove it. I love you,please continue to bless us. For all I know, you are Marc's guardian angel<3
salamat sa lahat 'kuya' christopher ryan, we will be together again...

"LOVE"-MATT WHITE&&"LUCKY"-JASON MRAZ

So apparently I don't know what "boyfriend&girlfriend" means. But I've somewhat learned more than I could've ever imagined. So I hope you're proud of me mom...even though you don't know the whole story... It's not that I want to keep my life super private from my family,but, it's not exactly the easiest task to talk about life in general. Yes I know, you have to give it a try and not be so negative when facing this kind of personal issue but I'm still human and fear plenty.
So far this New Year, has been very New,Refreshing&&Blessed. Although there are still bumps within life, its overcome by the many suprises life brings. I'm very comfortable with where my life is at this very moment. Especially, concerning one of the many who is of great significance to me. So people accuse and in my case, "state the facts," say anything you wish. I'm loving where friendships are going nothing short of "greatness." I'm hoping that this New Year, friendships grow stronger and become re-enkindled with a brighter light.
There are going to be several transitions I'd like to experience in a learning and careful manner. High school into college to say the least. The ongoing process of discovering who I am, in the eyes of God. It's understood when in the eye of others however, as much as it is our human flaw, I'd rather not take that perspective to heart.
It's not going to be easy, but it doesn't have to be burdensome or difficult. This year, I'd really love to put all my cares and fears into prayer with God above all. God to You I give my heart, my all, I lift up to You this life You've blessed me with.
Each passing day, I pray not to stray. But as Your child I have my doubts. Lord, God, be in my every breath my every moment of life. To You I give my praise, my heart, and my trust in Your Will<3