from SATs,researching colleges,miss filipiniana,boy drama with me included&&friends that are close and their familyfriend crushes [basically two families likin the other LITERALLY] thank you Lord for showing me my way to not get into that.not now.not with their family.even though they say im already part of the family =D....i share a "daughter" with one of the franciscos but we talk&&we have plenty in common especially on the whole our friendshipbased closeness thankyou verymuch.yeahh sure we talk everyday&&see each other at least two times a week gauranteed and more if there's a party which there usually is.their family is huge&&has a bunch of kiddies&&grownups.his family is cool,well minus his half brother bc of well personal issues with me&&blah blah blah and really himself.sucks to say but its true.then again if for 19years it was just you and your mom then you are blessssed with a stepfather&&four of his children&&their bigg filipino family.the one that lives in the same house with the lola and all the pinsans then alright i understand i have sympathy.plus their church friends and family including myself always together.then tough luck for you if you're not used to it&&want to know everything bout your family who well have their lives private from you&&may not tell them their current crushes or problems.so you told them your's when i was in the picture doesnt mean theyre going to tell you who they like when sure its maddd obvious but you dont know the underlying background behind everything bc you&&plenty of ppl like the rest of your family takes a whole new level of courtship or sum sheit. beetween me&&andrew is just a close trusted friendship&&we have that music passion shared,aries&&me have that sibling like relationship,gen&&me have tht girl thing,camille&&me have that well your my 'daughter'&&andrews ure 'dad' but thats a whole different concept that the three of us understand,kimztahhh&me im her oneechan japanese for older sister who she respects xD.i know more than they do suprisingly....

other than that.bout the whole miss filipiniana im getting a dress from the philippines from my tita norma which according to my mom is really for that.escort is rowan&&dance partner is joel.not exactly too sure bout what the heck im doing but according to my titas im everyone's "MUSE".if i recall im recieving a community service award,saying a speech,singing probably in tagalog&&english,dancing the tango[requested by my mom]&&whatever else i can come up with or whatever i guess joel is up for.i was kinda disppointed for rowan saying yeah he'll do it then change his mind,but i was kinda just anticipating that decision in actuality.but i cant force anyone to do anything&&well he still acts the same way just as before&&well most likely stay aacting that way.not complainin as much but it does irk me ever so often.but its the friendship we have that ive grown to be comfortable with&&accustomed to.sue me.

can't believe its already may 1st&& i fell like ive gone through almost a whole year learning nothing schoolbased&&all i did was waste my time.well not all of it.bc i enjoyed the whole cotillion/debut year of practices.a whole year of shiet happening with my bloodsisters.literally everything that you wouldnt want to happen within a friendship but its made all three of us stronger even at the crappiest/weakest points.its true,we 'hated' each other all at the same time.we chilled separately,we chilled together&&it was still semi-separated,we've argued,we've said all the things that cause a friendship to end,we've cried in front of each other which honestly i can never recall a time we did that.we've said what each others faults were,what we were jealous about&&envious only to find that what we said what similar to what the other envied.we know we're not perfect. no way near perfection....but in my perspective; "perfection comes in different ways,aspects,perspectives&&all what perfection to me may be endless flaws&&faults for you."...my aspect of perfection&&your aspect of perfection.you have your opinion&&i have my own.respected or not.i can stand on the ground.granted i've fallen.

in everything,in what i've done.
to choose my will than lead up to none.
You've chosen me at Your discretion
&&now ive somewhat come to realize.
Your will not my own, please be done unto me
&&forget those who cast the first stone.
You are perfect
&&have a plan for me.
to wake up each morning
&&wait for me to acknowledge you soo patiently.
i am human&&forget always,
that You should be my everything
&&through You saying 'thankyou' is the first step.
You endlessly bless me with everyone in diguise
to figure it out fully it's called compromise.
i just want to be with You,
in Your arms only
You hold me tight
&&caress my hair slowly.
You whisper in my ear saying
"Draw closer to me, if you believe,the possibilities will be abundantly"
NO ONE ELSE can come close when I am here guiding you
I've sent my SON,a DOVE from above&&your own ANGEL as well.
ONE MORE THING IS THAT "ILOVEYOU"
Never FORGET THAT&&all your troubles will melt away
&&drain out of a well.
-roxannemarie