&this weeeekeend has come

So this weekend is the Alliance of Filipino Catholic Charismatic Prayer Communites' 15th Conference, AFCCPC weekend has come! I don't know what to expect just yet. But I pray that God has a suprise for me from start to finish. I know it has started with me being sick, of all things and timing. But who am I to judge God? I just pray that my voice,all the voices,instruments,speakers,performers,dynamics,skits and everything goes as He has Planned. Sometimes when things don't go quite our way, God wants us to realize so many things. But I believe it is so we realize that we should Look and Search for Him that much more. There's several occurences that wouldn't have happened unless it was through God. I know I may be speaking so God-like, but it isn't always the case either =( I pray that I start this weekend from start to finish in Search of God. To soften the hardened heart that I've been holding inside of me. It's shown in my face, my emptiness, sadness, miscomfort. Everything. It's in the way I dress, the way I enter a room. The way I come home. The behavior that has been consuming my everyday. My laziness,my sickness. It has begun to spread. I want to be free from captivity. Free of chains and barriers I personally build.

This weekend's theme is Isaiah 61:1 " The Spirit of the Lord is upon me.." I'd like to be complete in the Lord my God. We sing it every other meeting. How we search for God, how we want to be cleansed, healed, forgiven, and free. To be united with our God, family and friends. I pray that I am healed of this sickness, physical,mental,spiritual, and emotional. I pray that everyone who becomes a witness to God's World, draws near. Those who are afraid find comfort and condolence in God Himself.

I know "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE with GOD!"
I want this to repeat itself with a greater power and understanding. three-four years ago:
ROXANNE PEREZ, 13
Amazing Grace Singers
I felt God in ways that are unexplainable until now. During the three days of this conference, God's Presence was stronger than ever. His Presence was in everyone. He walked through the rooms, the hearts and souls of everyone present. He spoke to us so that all would hear. He made me feel more welcome in His arms, hugging me. He put smiles on our faces and we all knew that He will always be there. He told us that our hard work has finally reached the point where we can rejoice and lift it all up to Him. I felt happiness and peace during the workshops where I lifted all of my burdens up to Him. I felt free and closer each day we praised His name. I received many gifts from God during that weekend. However, one gift really touched me. Receiving the gift of tongues was truly amazing. I felt God talking to me on a whole new level. God told me that I'll be okay and so will everyone be in my prayers. He understood me perfectly and embraced me. He sent the Spirit, and the Spirit reassured me. The Holy Spirit "shaked" out all of my doubts in God. Since then, I am a whole new person who finds God everywhere and in everyone around me.

From the book Captivating by John&Stasi Eldridge "Jesus said, "Do not throw your pearls to pigs," (Matt, 7:6). By this we don't think he was calling some people pigs. He was saying, "Look---be careful that you do not give something precious to someone who, at best, cannot recognize its beauty, or at worst, will trample on it." Consider your feminine heart and beauty your treasure, your pearls. A woman can test and see if a man is willing to move in a good direction by offering a taste of what is available with her if he does. She does not give everything in a moment. As God does, she allures and waits to see what he will do." God waits to see what we will do once He invites us. He allures us to become closer to Him. Sometimes we miss that opportunity or choose to ignore it. We may end up giving away our beauty and soul of our hearts. Both men and women. However, God knows what beauty we are capable of and what we may offer the world. His world.

weekend in a boathouse

So this weekend has really made an imprint in my heart,mind,body,and soul. This is all due to the very much appreciated thanks to GOD for one&&the previous core leaders: Kristin,Khristele,Kim,Calvin&Carlo(even though he wasn't physically present). Of course I wouldn't forget TG&Ate Maria. As well as the "observers" Clarissa&Adrianne. There's no doubt in my mind that this weekend hasn't changed us all. This weekend started out being "just" for the core leaders passing the 'torch' to - Kevin,Natalie,Carlavee&myself. Little did the four of us know God had a better PLAN. HIS PLAN! To have "observers" join and make an impact as well. There was so many topics discussed during the three sessions over the weekend. What I got from justs going there was more than a "retreat" from the world. But I got EVERYTHING, He wanted me to have. With open arms He came to me. The Holy Spirit especially. He colored my black&white world. With the rays of light that were filled with blues,greens,reds,yellows,oranges,the rainbow and so many colors. you name it, i saw the color.
There's nothing more that I'd rather have than the people that are my family with me. To have that "heat" thrust upon me. A driving fire burning within me through ever inch of my body, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.The sharings and incites of the fellow members. Giving and pouring their hearts out so we'd be able to witness and experience to the greatness of our Father. The Power that we've always had within us because we are chosen haven been chosen before we knew. To know God is to know Love. During the session explaining what unity is the difficulty of conflicts and overcoming them together is LOVE.

my incite&message I received from God is this:

"There is no greater Love than the Love of God. With God He shares His Love for the world. There is no Love without suffering. But through suffering and sacrifice comes th beauty of Love itself. With Love, no one is abandoned. We are all tested and tempted by the Devil who is at our side always, waiting for the chance to bring us down. To Know Love,Feel Love, Give Love, Show Love, and Be Loved is to be ONE with GOD. To Share with others with Love there is Compassion, Patience, Forgiveness. Everything is COMPLETE, without any lack of anything.Love is CONSTANT. Our part to Love and To Be..is EQUAL. By Dying to oneself is to LET GO&LOVE. Whether acknowledged or not, is the basis and center of it ALL." __Roxanne Marie Perez]


blog more later.